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.When morning came he was still tired and the man he loved was still absent.He dressed and brushed his teeth then made his way downstairs.Mateo and Reggie were in the living room, just hanging around. Where s J.P.? Mateo kept his face carefully blank, shrugging the same time Reggie spoke. Philly. Stupid idiot! Mateo slapped the back of Reggie s head.Shane stood in the middle of the room, frozen in place.Pablo had gone to Philly.Backto the arms of the man he kept there, but had said he no longer did.He no longer hadsomeone in Philly.That was what he said.He left a willing and eager Shane, naked in hisbed, to drive hours to another state in order to be with someone else.Someone not Shane.Probably someone who didn t have all the pesky complications Shane did.Who didn tdevelop feelings the way Shane had. Well, that s that then. Shane pivoted and made his way back upstairs.First thingsfirst, change his flight.The sooner he got out of New York the better.The sooner he got away from Pablo, the sooner the memories would fade.He made itto the bedroom in one piece, but collapsed onto the bed the instant the door closedbehind him. Chapter TenShane managed to get his flight changed to an earlier one on the original day so hestill had hours to go before he was rid of all things Pablo Castillo.He forced a smile on hisface and hung with the guys in the house but they tiptoed around him.He ate because he had to and stayed indoors, using the soaring temperatures as anexcuse.He also called his family, checking with his brothers and sisters and his parents,who d been beside themselves since he called them from the hospital.He reassured themhe was fine and would be back in Atlanta soon, but his brother who d always known himbest could somehow tell things weren t as honky dory as Shane put it.Still, he couldn tbring himself to talk about Pablo right then over the phone so he promised Rich they dtalk when he got home.He spoke to his niece, Sophia, who couldn t wait for him to get home since hepromised to take her to a tea party with her school friends.Shane couldn t wait either.Familiar things.He could deal with them.Easily.His life would continue withoutPablo.He wouldn t die even though sometimes the pain in his heart made him believehe would.He d move on.Put it all behind him.He repeated the words over and over, but as he lay in bed that evening and thebedroom door opened silently, heralding Pablo s arrival, Shane had no idea how hewould.He felt Pablo s presence on his skin but kept his eyes closed, leaving the firstmove to the other man.Pablo crept in, floorboards creaking under his feet.Shane listened as drawers were pulled open then shut.Pablo continued moving thenthe shower went on.Shane opened his eyes.How wrong was this? Wrong on so many levels.He lay in his lover s bed while saidlover washed away another man from his skin in the bathroom.How wrong was it andwhat was wrong with him that he d allow it, accept it without a word in protest?Is this what love is? If so he didn t want it.He didn t want the pain and the heartache.Not the what-ifs and maybes.He doesn t love me.That was the message Pablo was tryingto get across, the one Shane had been trying so hard not to hear.Time to pay attention, Shane.Cut your losses and walk away.He stared up at the darkceiling unblinking as a hot tear slid from the corner of his eye.Maybe he deserved it,losing himself in the exotic heat of Pablo s touch.The bathroom door opened, a ball of moist heat infiltrating the room ahead of Pablo.He stood there, backlit from the light in the bathroom, toweling himself off without acare. You really hate me, don t you? Shane spoke in the dark room, watching as Pabloflinched. You must really feel nothing for me, to cut me open so fucking deeply. Shane No! Shane bolted upright and leaned over, turning on the bedside lamp to see thebastard s face. You left me here, naked in your bed, to go fuck someone else? You drovehundreds of miles away, to another state, to pay another man for the use of his bodywhen you have me? He pressed a fist to his chest where the pain resided. When youhad me? Shame and regret flitted across Pablo s face. I can t deal with you.With this. Hewaved a hand between them. What s there to deal with, J.P.? Shane barked a laugh
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