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.Liz rolled her eyes at me."Jesus, Cranky VonHyperAss, simmer down."I put my hands on my hips and gave her my best "I'm gonna fuck you up look"."Okay, so this isn't the most ideal situation for meeting back up with your baby daddy,I'll give you that.But it's done.He's here and there's nothing we can do about it now.After all these years of wondering, you finally know who he is so you can tell him aboutGavin.So pull up your big-girl thongs and get your ass out there."We stared at each other blankly for a moment."I know what you were going for with that but it didn't work so well," I told her."Yeah, I realized that as soon as I said it.Next time I'll just stick with big-girl panties."I started pacing back and forth across the kitchen."What are the fucking odds, Liz? First, he shows up in the bar out of the clear blue andnow he's here.In your house.And he's talking to me like I'm some new chick he just metthat he wants to get to know.""Well, technically, you are some new chick he just met," she said with a shrug, like itwas no big deal."I know we wondered last night if he just didn't recognize you because he was drunker than Mel Gibson when he called his wife a pig in heat, but I think it's safeto say, he really doesn't remember who you are.It s time to face facts, Claire.Yourvagina just isn t that memorable." Fuck you, I mumbled. Not tonight dear, I ve got a headache. It wasn't her fault she could be so nonchalant about this whole thing.I never reallytold her just how much I actually thought about him over the years.She had no idea howmuch that man sitting out in her living room had occupied my thoughts and dreams.In allthe scenarios I made up in my head about someday finding him, they always began thesame way.He remembered me and everything about that night immediately andapologized for never trying to find me.We would kiss in the rain, jump hand-in-handtogether into a pool and ride horses together along the beach.Or maybe I've seen one too many tampon commercials.Seeing him again, knowing that he had no clue about the night we spent together,sucked big time.Especially since I was raising a reminder of that night and had to thinkabout it every time I looked at my son."How am I supposed to even begin telling him about Gavin when he has no idea who Iam? He is never going to believe me.He s going to think I m some nut job who s lookingfor child support, I stopped my pacing and moved to stand next to Liz by the oven."Not necessarily.Jim didn t realize who Drew was until just before you got here whenI dragged him into the kitchen, but he knew immediately who Carter was.Said he talkedall about you this afternoon when they were at the bar.He knew right away when thepoor guy mentioned something about you smelling like chocolate."I stopped my manic pacing and stared at her.My heart started beating furiouslyagain."What?!""I guess he told Jim about a girl, and I quote," she paused and brought her hands upto make air quotes."That he met at a frat party and how he's thought about her for fiveyears.Jim didn't get a chance to elaborate on what all was said because you chose thatmoment to walk into the house telling everyone about your neglected vagina and two-pump-chump Max.""Fucking hell," I whispered."That's why Jim invited them over.I didn't have a chance to tell him that we sawCarter last night at the bar so he had no idea until our kitchen pow-wow. He DID remember me! Well, not me-me, but the 'me' from that night.The 'me' hemet at the party.The me whose virginity he took.I need to stop saying 'me'."A little advanced notice would have been nice.You know there's this nifty littlegadget called a cell phone right?" I complained."Oh, shut the fuck up.I was just as surprised as you were.They got here right beforeyou did and Jim had all of thirty seconds to blurt out what was going on while we hung uptheir coats," she argued as she pulled plates down out of the cupboard."There is no way you were even remotely as surprised as me.If I woke up tomorrow with my tits sewn to the curtains, I wouldn't be this much in shock," I replied petulantly."Hey, I tried to shut you up.Several times.It's not my fault everyone now knows youhave an irritable vagina.Heh, irritable vagina!" she laughed at her own joke. Maybe it slike irritable bowel and you can get some medication for it. Jim chose that moment to stick his head in the kitchen."If you two yentas are finished discussing Claire s rabid who-ha, me and the boyswould like to eat sometime this century.""You and 'the boys?' You just met them today.Does the Ya Ya Brotherhood alreadyhave a secret handshake and a password?" Liz joked.Jim made a production of grabbing his crotch."Secret handshake - check.And thepassword is Claire s Coochie Kills."I threw an oven-mitt at him, hitting him square in the face.Just then the buzzer to theoven went off and the doorbell rang."That's probably Jenny," Liz said as she opened the oven door and pulled out the panof lasagna.Being the good friend that I am, I had the foresight to send her a text withthe news about Jenny joining us for dinner."Perfect timing.We'll all sit down and eat, she will inevitably say a bunch of stupid shitand everyone will forget about your pikachu.That should give you enough time to figureout a way to tell Carter his boys can swim."***Fifteen minutes later we were all seated around the dining room table, filling up ourplates.Thankfully, my earlier embarrassment was pushed to the side while I watchedDrew fall all over Jenny.Unfortunately, I couldn't ignore the Carter situation since he wassitting right across from me and I couldn't stop staring at him.Fuck he's hot.I mean, really, really hot.He filled out a lot in five years.I bet he worksout.He s probably a runner.He s got that lean look to him.I wonder who cuts his hair? Itlooks like he pays a small fortune to make it look like he doesn t care what it looks like.Totally works for him.Shit! Focus
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