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.Quiet your mind.ReflectWatchNothing binds you.You are free. the Buddha, The Dhammapada Shoshanna_12_141-148 01/07/02 12:15 Page 148 Shoshanna_13_149-160 01/07/02 12:15 Page 149P A RT F OURDissolving theFalse Self Shoshanna_13_149-160 01/07/02 12:15 Page 150 Shoshanna_13_149-160 01/07/02 12:15 Page 151CHA P TER 1 3PuttingToys AwayWhen we are little we play with toys.When we grow up we put our toys away and want the real thing. a Zen studentZEN MIRACLE 13We are no longer bored by our boredom.Most of life is playing with toys.It s fun, enchanting, passes thetime, and distracts us from one of our greatest fears boredom.Nothing doing, being no one.When nothing is happening andwe re bored we feel empty and dull.When there aren t distrac-tions and entertainment, some people don t even know if they rereally alive.Many use their time and life force in finding respite fromboredom.They search for new scenery, people, places, books,activities, friends.They tell others about their exciting vacationsand adventures and feel as if they are where it s really happeningas if they re fully living their lives.They never ask what it is that shappening or what it means to fully live one s life.They dreadthe time when they will be unable to do things and have to besilent, alone with themselves.151 Shoshanna_13_149-160 01/07/02 12:15 Page 152152 ZEN MIRACLESPlaying with ToysWhen we play with toys we feel as though our lives have purpose.Wonderful fantasies usually accompany our play, and these fan-tasies provide energy and excitement.When a man is driving ina brand new red convertible with the top down, singing at the topof his lungs, he feels wild, free, full of possibilities, a guy mostgirls would love to have.He may imagine that others, looking athim from cars on the road, are envying his freedom.Suppose hewere riding a motorcycle instead, zooming along at full speed, thewind in his hair, feeling freedom and power, and then the bikehits an oil slick, flips over, and throws him smack on the gravel,smashing his bones.What happens to his freedom then? Whereis his power or sense of aliveness? Was his moment of exhilara-tion true freedom and power? Fantasies can be dangerous friends.When our toys are worn out, or break in half, we immediatelygrab for new ones to play with.If we do not do this, but stay fullyawake in that moment, able to tolerate what may feel like loss,emptiness, or boredom, a new understanding of freedom arises,one that cannot be broken, that is not dependent upon anything.In Zen we call these fantasies that fuel our lives delusions.They are considered one of the three poisons (the others aregreed and anger) actually the hardest one to detect.We havedelusions about everything, who we are, who the other personis, what we are doing, where we are going, and the outcome ofall our deeds.Our True LifeThe great Zen Master Dogen says:If fish are taken out of water they will not live.Water is life forfish, air is life for birds.What is life for man? Are these fantasies and toys our true life?If they are, as we grow, why do we crave that which is real? Shoshanna_13_149-160 01/07/02 12:15 Page 153PUTTING TOYS AWAY 153Fantasies creep upon us skillfully, so we do not know they areeven there.They are like imaginary flowers dancing in front ofour eyes.Unfortunately, while some of these flowers are beauti-ful, others are simply weeds.Whether they are weeds or beauti-ful blossoms, delusions or fantasies, they obstruct our view.Theydo not provide a clear picture of our lives or those in it.No mat-ter how happy or excited we become, actions based upon delu-sions are off base.They do not lead to where we think we aregoing, nor do they provide the returns we so long for.Imaginary Flowers in the SkyA brother and two sisters who hadn t seen each other for sometime met for a quick lunch.One of the sisters had to move andthe three of them planned to eat quickly before going together tolook at a community she was interested in.They met at a localluncheonette, ordered sandwiches and, happy to see one another,began reminiscing about past days.As soon as lunch was over theyplanned to head to Riverdale, about half an hour away, but as theysat there reminiscing, thinking of days that had gone by, otherideas came to mind. I don t think Riverdale s the right place, the brother said outof the blue. Remember how you always loved the ocean? Youshould go back there to live now.How about trying Bay Ridge,Brooklyn? Bay Ridge, one sister crooned. He s right.It feels better.Salty breezes, long walks at the ocean. None of them knew Bay Ridge very well, or had any idea howto get there. No, the other sister chirped in, when you mention Brook-lyn, I think of Park Slope.Just the sound of it Park Slope. Park Slope s the place for you, the cheerful brother excit-edly replied. I ve heard wonderful things about it windingstreets, friendly faces.Must have a beautiful park.Imagine howthe trees look in the autumn with winding bicycle paths. Shoshanna_13_149-160 01/07/02 12:15 Page 154154 ZEN MIRACLESOf course he d never been there either
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