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.Plus,” she adds, stirring the soup gently, “I’m cooking it on a low heat so I can’t burn it.” I grin.She can burn anything.It took her nearly a year to get gril ed cheese down.“Just test it out before you make the trip over to Hope’s.Maybe wait an hour after you eat it, too.”“Why?” She sips broth from the spoon and shrugs.“If you can keep it down that long we’l know you won’t accidental y poison everyone.” I chuckle and she throws the spoon at me.“Go away.Don’t you need a shower?”I stand up and lean over the counter, kissing her on the cheek.“Thanks, Mom.They’l appreciate it, I’m sure.” She smiles and shoos me off.“Get out of here.” I’m halfway down the hal when she cal s my name.“Yeah?”“I love you.”“Love you too.”She never misses an opportunity to say it.You never know when you can run out of chances.*******Everyone’s sitting on the floor in the living room, a plate ful of cookies in front of them.Cartoons play loudly on the TV.Dylan and Chase are playing a game of Go Fish.Archer’s glued to Hope, his fingers buried in her wet hair.I lower myself beside her and Addie crawls onto my lap.I’m surprised because she’s always seemed scared of me, but she acts like this is an everyday occurrence.She offers me a cookie, the chocolate is slightly melted from her hand, but I eat it anyway.It’s real y good and I wink at Hope, letting her know.“Where’s Annie?” I ask, just noticing she’s not here.“Staying as far away from Hope as she can,” Chase says.My gaze flicks to hers quickly.“What happened?”Her lips form a thin line and she sighs.“Nothing.”Chase squints.“That’s bul sh—poop.” He glances at Addie then back to me.“She was talking a bunch of poop.Saying Hope shouldn’t have started a fight last night.”“Wait.What?” I look at Hope, my brows furrowed.“She’s blaming you?”“It’s fine,” she says quietly.No it’s not.Not at al.It’s messed up and seriously pisses me off.“Technical y,” Chase says, “I started the fight.But if she hadn’t been such a B.I.T.C.H.and spread your business to al her friends, none of that shit—poop would’ve happened in the first place.”“Christian started the fight,” I correct.“You threw the]ou threwfirst punch and Bailey talked crap, but he went too far.”“Regardless of who started the fight, it didn’t cause the accident,” Chase says.“Park’s a dumb butt for driving drunk and when he gets out of lock up, I’m going to kick his butt.”I look over at Hope.She’s been quiet through our back and forth.I bump her shoulder with mine.She closes her eyes and I get nervous.Right here would be a good time for her to accuse me.To blame me.I scoot Addie onto the floor and take Asher from Hope, handing him off to Chase.Hope looks up at me confused when I stand and grab her hands.“Come with me,” I say quietly.She lets me help her up and fol ows me into the kitchen, but I can tel she doesn’t want to talk right now.I could hold off, but it’s like waiting for the executioner.I’d rather have my heart ripped out quickly.I take a deep breath and just say it.“I know I’m responsible for the accident.I know I should have listened to you and stopped them.I know I fucked up and it’s a huge fuck up.What I don’t know—what I need to know—is what you’re going to do about it.” Hope blinks slowly, her mouth opening, but she doesn’t say anything.She just stares at me.For way too long.“Say something,” I whisper.“I did,” she says so softly I almost miss it.“What?”“I did blame you.For a split second, that exact thought ran through my head.I’m human.It happens.” She pul s her fingers through her hair, tugging on the ends.“Then I blamed Chase because he did hit Christian first.And then I blamed Annie because she couldn’t keep her stupid mouth shut.Hel , Mason, I even blamed my mom for giving Annie something to tel.I blamed Park for being the freaking idiot to get behind the wheel when he was drunk, especial y knowing it’s how my mom died.After Guy made it through his surgery, I decided it was his fault.He was the one that insisted on playing that dumbass party and Donnie was his uncle.He should never have let Park drive or even got in the car with him in the first place knowing he had been drinking.But after Annie freaked out on me, I realized everything that happened was because of me.” I feel my eyebrows crinkle.And I know I’m squinting at her, but I wasn’t expecting that.My brain’s trying to switch gears because what I had anticipated was her breaking up with me.I’m stuck between relief that she doesn’t hate me, feeling like an asshole that I was worried about myself, and a sick, nauseated feeling that she thinks she caused this.Above al that, I’m silently thanking God that nobody died because I don’t know what she would have done to herself thinking it was her fault.“Bailey was talking about me.About my mom.I was jealous that she was touching you.I was embarrassed of the things she said to you.In front of everybody.Embarrassed they were true.I shouldn’t have let it bother me.I should’ve let it go.Christian said that stuff about me because I humiliated him in front of his friends at school.It al comes back to me.So I don’t blame you for anything.” I should have seen this coming.In hindsight, I can’t believe I didn’t.Hope always tries to find herself guilty.I guess then it helps al that shit that happened to her as a kid make sense in her mind.But she didn’t deserve it no matter how much she tries to convince herself she did.I want to hit something so bad because I don’t know how to make her see she’s wrong.I don’t know anything when it comes to Hope.I can’t make her quit hurting herself.I can’t take her pain away.I can’t make her stop blaming herself.I’m completely useless.I press her into the counter with my chest and place my hands on each side of her, locking her in place.“You didn’t cause this.” My forehead touches hers and I gaze into her eyes, refusing to let her look away.“You didn’t cause any of this.” She tries to shake her head, but I press against her harder.“This wasn’t your fault,” I whisper.My hands snake up into her hair and I massage my fingertips into her scalp.“So much happened and we al have a piece in it.”“It was because of me, though.Maybe Park wouldn’t have been drinking if I hadn’t hurt him.” Now I shake my head.“It’s not your fault,” I say firmly.My mouth moves over hers as she opens it to protest again.I let my tongue find hers.My hips are flush with hers and I conform to her body.My hands rake down her sides and I lift her onto the counter.I pul her legs around my waist and take her face in between my palms.She leans in and kisses me this time, biting at my lip.My grip tightens as she works her fingers into my jeans and grasps me. n ths I look around quickly and pick her up, my hands cupping her thighs.I walk us toward the pantry.“No.Laundry room,” she gasps before bringing her mouth back to mine.I turn and kick at that door.She reaches behind her and turns the handle and we’re in.Leaning her into the washer, I jerk her shirt over her head.She pries my belt open and I help her with the button.I tear at her shorts, trying to get them out of the way.“Condom,” I say as my bare flesh caresses hers.“I don’t have any,” she breathes.A whimper escapes her lips and she wiggles closer, fighting to feel me against her.“Mason
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